he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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