he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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