You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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