Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A bitchslap is in order.
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