dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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