so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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