Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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