i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize