just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize