You just made me feel so damn special
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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