Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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