we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize