i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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