so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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