I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I faked an abortion last night.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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