They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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