just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize