party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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