hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize