You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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