I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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