I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
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She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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