Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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