I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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