Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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