I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize