We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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