im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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