If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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