wakey wakey hands off snakey
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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