Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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