Having a random hookup so left but love u
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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