He asked me if I "almost moaned"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize