So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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