pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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