I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize