so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize