I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize