Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize