Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize