I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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