i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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