i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize