covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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