how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Randomize