in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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