We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize