i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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