Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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