saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize